i was bored so i surfed lance's fansite after readin all de fanfic. my regular lance stop is LANCE.NU. its a great site...i esp love de layouts all very creative.den i went over to de quiz thingy n i did de above quiz n de one in de side bar. hahah...i'm addicted 2 Lance haha..muz find de jc 1...hehe...
k moving on..long time since i update...so from now on i'll update once a week like weekly review or something like dat...something i find dis diaryland useless cos my 1st intention was 2 be anonymous when writing my tots n stuffs but now cannot la..many ppl will know so muz be a bit discrete when giving info like stating alien's real name n such...haiz...k moving on, alot 2 talk abt but dunno if can say it all here...but i'll try...
dis past few days...since its de skul hols, i've been very restless..been doing nothing much but sleep late wake up late...eat n sleep. i feel useless man...when during skul time, i was like k come skul hols, mus do dis n dat but when de skul hols r here, im at a lost cos i hv no clue at all on wat 2 do or how 2 keep things going...i tried baking...i did den gt bored so i clean my room...after dat gt bored so i tried 2 cook but until now cannot find time...cos lately, i cant sleep n when i do, i wake up damn late like 4+ or 6+...once i woke up nite dat my mom tot i...hahah...fainted la wat u all thinking...k lame...i know moving on so i was bored..so i tried 2 go out..which i did. i went 2 de library n borrowed hardy boys book..borrowed 3 of em n finished it within a wk...den gt borrow another stack of 4 i tink...n i've alredi finished 2..currently reading book no #188 farm something...4gt de title..now im oso tryin 2 record down all de HB titles i've read. im tracking down all de casefiles n mysteries n de clue brothers series....clue bros takes place when they were younger( Frank 10 i tink n Joe was 9) while in de casefiles n mysteries, dey r in their teens. i've read most of de casefile titles( last book produced for casefiles was #127...#128 was unreleased) but i 4gt de title so im re-reading everything..n i hv dis big chart 2 record all dat i've read. de mysteries r still produing n there's a new series coming out called undercover...where de authors write from de brothers' POV. i wonder how dat'll work out..n there's even a comic series out...hope dey'll produce it here 2...cant wait 2 read em...found all dis info from HB casefiles. n i oso found out dat de author, Franklin W. Dixon does nt exist lor...he was jus a made up name...cos many authors write de book...no wonder there's no pics of him....imagine dat...k many ppl would nt care abt dis shit but wat de heck har....moving on...
like i said i've been sleeping late...but dis few days, i've become an insomniac...i lie on bed waiting 4 sleep 2 come but even after 2hrs, i cant fall asleep...so ard 6am or so...dis few days i try 2 pray subuh...normally i slept thru dis time so now since im awake n all better pray...den normally ard dis time, ppl r gettin ready 2 go 2 skul so when i look out de kitchen window n look at students in uniform going 2 skul, i feel light in my stomach dunno if ya'll know dis feeling but its something like butterflies in ur stomach feeling but without de butterflies...know wat 4gt i oso duno how 2 explain it..anw..i jus miss it ya know...waking up early all sleepy n gross den taking a shower n jus feel relax den dressing up in my uniform...i miss doing dat...i dun mind going back 2 secondary skul even...of all my skul experiences, sec sch is da WOW one...den coming 2 skul meetin my frens..talkin crap den going 4 classes...n of cos seeking out 4 alien..haiz...hes jus nice la...even though i told me frens dat im over all dis crushin shit...i cant 4gt it...its nt jus de length of devotion i hv 2wards him...some ppl think dat if u like some1 4 very long, u get attached 2 it n jus cant put it away...i used 2 tink dat as wat i've said in my prev entries...but de thing, i've realised dat no matter how long u like a person or nt, doesn't really count. so wat if u hv like him/her 4 so long....its de feeling dat counts...is de feeling still there after all dis yrs...a couple may hv been 2gether 4 very long...in de begining it may hv been love but slowly it could turn out 2 be jus 4 convenience(did i spell it rite?)...i know im nt making sense at all but cant help it la...my mind works weirdly...but i guess slowly ya'll get it...haha..i may hv like alien 4 five yrs but 2 me it felt as though it was jus yesterday dat i 1st met him...n i feel light-headed all over again...haiz....
2day i was watchin oprah on starworld wow...damn gd sia...4 ordinary women kena makeover by jessica simpson, lara flynn n ashanti...dey turn out all WOW! esp de 1st 1 who kena makeover by jessica n her crew...damn amazing...n i dunno whether u all know but i cry easily...so i mus admit everytime i watched Oprah, i end with puffy eyes...esp when watching de weekdays one...de primetime on sunday nt much effect cos dat 1 dey interview stars...but de daily 1 can really tear me up...esp de tsunami special abt Nate Berkus n his partner...i cry teruk man...in de 1st place, i gt sick of how ppl like kept showin stuff abt de tsunami thingy..i was like jus get it over n move on so when Oprah did a special on it, i decided 2 changed channel but i ended up watching it coz nothin else on tv at 1pm so when i watch it, i realise de depth of de incident n it really hit me hard i guess n after dat special man i need tissues...haha...not only Oprah tear me up if my mom like get really angry n throw stuffs like one time she threw de plates n all coz of some issues, it get 2 me...n even when my frens cry..like during de o'lvls period my fren panic n cried 2 me n i was like damn now im goin 2 cry...is there a cure 4 cryers? even happy shows oso i cry....i watched never been kissed, i cry, watch a walk 2 remember, i cry, even malay/bollywood/chinese shows dat i dun even half understand, i cry...dats y i cannt become volunteer or social worker cos if i c ppl in pain or helpless, i cry...like when i was watchin NKF or those fundraisers on tv, i cry...sometimes, i feel pathetic man...im such a sap...k enuf of crying issues...
n i've been thinking, once i gt my own apartment..i mean i can live wif me parents forever but someday i hv 2 move out n be independent...once dat happens, i wanna hv a cat or a rabbit...pathetic rite but i jus wanna say it here la...n den having my own apartment means i hv my own kitchen den i can cook all day... n cook independently...coz sumtime, when im baking, my sis or bro or whoever, would be butt in n look at watever i do n ask dis n dat..n i hate dat coz when i cook, i mus hv my space w/o ppl tellin me wat to do hehe...it'll be so fun...n talkin abt cookin, im addicted 2 cooking shows. hv been since yin pri sch. rite now my fave chef r bob blumer( de toaster guy), jamie oliver (de disgusting fella) n kylie somethin 4gt her name....was watchin jamie cook 2day on discovery n travel...man he is damn disguting...once he dip his finger in de pot 2 tatse....dats ok den he dip de SAME finger in de next pot...man if im de guest, i wouldnt want 2 eat it..hahah..but all hes cookin look delicious...n de way he expresses himself, aiyo...he'll be a gd stand comedian...haha...
oh yea i changed my layout...dun really like de color grey but i love de pic n de meaning of de words on it...
wow i talked alot sia...k la...gt some more 2 write but i'll leave dat 2 my pte diary...hahaha..k ciao now!
adios! sayonara! wassalam! goodbye! selamat tinggal! chai-chien!
side notes --> i just read this fanfiction n i really love this line in de fic:
I look at you and see my future. I don’t need a marriage, I don’t need a fucking certificate to prove how I feel about you. I don’t need to stand in front of some stranger with our friends at our sides and declare my love for you in public. I don’t need a fucking ring to show myself I love you.
All I need is you
~Living In Sin,
NEW JERSEY TRILOGY by Gretchen
